“Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” Where was this quote when I went through with the utmost distressing and horrifying relationship with my so-called high school sweetheart years ago? Now I cringe at the pathetic habitual patterns I put myself through before I was brave enough to finally pull my head out of my ass and realize that if a relationship does not work the first time, it probably will not work the second, third, fourth, or thirteenth time. I also absolutely refuse to believe that I am some kind of freak of nature who is the only person that ever went through a period of cloudy judgement. Admit it; you or someone you know, perhaps a friend, a family member, a roommate, or even the shy and humble girl next door went through the same mistake of trying to force a relationship to work only to end up feeling like you have only wasted your own valuable time. This irrational behavior and idiotic way of thinking is more common than one would imagine. But why do we do it or put ourselves through what now seems such an unpleasant and undesirable relationship? …I honestly do not know. But what I do know is that like all other mistakes, you are supposed to extract some type of lesson or useful knowledge on how to avoid making the same mistake again. Therefore, I’ve gathered a list of questions for everyone as a reminder to think rationally whenever they find themselves in the vulnerable position of falling into the unwanted make-up-then-break-up dating trap.
1. What was the cause of the break up in the first place? Will both sides of the relationship be able to resolve things to get past this issue and be reassured that it will not rise up again in the future? If not, then it is highly recommended that you reconsider your plans for action because you’re only setting yourself up for a distasteful déjà vu.
2. Are you happy with yourself? I was once given the advice that you will not be able to be happy with someone else if you can’t be happy by yourself. So if you’re single, before rushing to run back into the same old relationship again, take time to enjoy being single and doing the things you like since you no longer have anyone to answer to.
3. Are you sure you want to be with this person in the “long run”? Obviously there is a reason for the breakup in the first place so if it isn’t meant to be then it probably won’t be. And why prolong the relationship if you are going to break up again anyway?
If you’re still not convinced, let me remind you about a devastating little tale about an innocent and dutiful wife named Elin. She had a happy marriage with a highly respectable and widely-renowned athlete Tiger Woods, only to one day suddenly be humiliated and ridiculed by everyone that knew what the sport of golf was. According to abcnews, not one, but numerous women, including a porn star and a pancake house waitress keep adding themselves to the increasing list of women that have been involved with Elin’s husband. Even after the embarassment of the whole world knowing about the disaster in her marriage, Elin tried to make things work; she went to marriage counseling, she sent her husband to sex rehab. Then guess what happens? He cheats on her again in sex rehab. …So if Tiger Woods can’t salvage an old relationship, what would make the average people like us be able to do so?
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