The Power of all Relationships Lies with Whoever Cares Less

First off, let me clarify that I am not some single, bitter, or vindictive heart-broken girl out looking for revenge. Neither am I a member of the online community from Feminist.com searching for equality towards women's rights and suffrage. I am simply just a “not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman” who realized that being a hopeless romantic does not get you anywhere nor can it benefit you in anyway. With that in mind, that does not necessarily mean I do not believe in romantic relationships; I am all for romance and dating, but more on the rational and realistic perspective, rather than just the idealistic side of it.

Cliché quotes like “Love conquers all” and “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” used to be the inspirational phrases back in high school when we were all young, naïve, and smitten with puppy love. Looking back to that time I’m convinced that if I had met myself then, the myself-now would probably have gave the myself-then a good slap or two to knock some sense into her (myself?). Now we are all for the empowering sayings and quotes that indicate strong self-reliance and independence such as “The power of all relationships lies with whoever cares less” (Mark Waters, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past). I know this kind of opinion may raise eyebrows for some eternal hopeless romantics out there and may even be categorized as faithless negativity. Yet as difficult as it is to grasp, it simply is just the ugly truth.

Go ahead, read the quote again. “The power of all relationships lies with whoever cares less.” …I know it may be a little hard to digest, but if you think about it hard enough, you will find yourself agreeing with the quote and rationalizing with the idea behind it. As much as we all would love to believe that the world is a fairy tale, it is anything but magical. It’s also probably nice to believe in the idea of “true love” and “the one,” but come on, haven’t you ever heard about the plenty of fishes in the sea?

Now, how do you know who gets the power and who cares less? And what does this have anything to do with relationships? My friend, this has EVERYTHING to do with relationships. I know, I know... relationships and dating are supposed to be about love, happiness, caring and sharing and all that gooey stuff, but then again, that’s why there are such people who are dubbed “hopeless romantics.” In the real world, where people lie, cheat, deceive, and play games, sometimes you just have to learn the rules to win in order to pursue your own happiness. The “power” is simply attained by caring less than the other person in the relationship. This is very similar to the “Nice Guys (finish last)” analogy. How many times have you seen a girl who picks the overconfident and self-assured jerk over the nice, caring, and sentimental boy? People like what they should not want and they want what they cannot have. Now transition this idea and apply it towards relationships and dating. The more you care for someone, the more vulnerable you will be and the easier it is for you to get hurt. The less you care for someone, the less vulnerable you will be and harder it is for you to get hurt. Therefore, whoever cares less obviously holds the power. In relationships the person who cares more represents the confident jerk while the person who cares less represents the nice guy. Who do you think will have the upper hand?

On a more justified note, the nice guy probably doesn’t always lose, but I’ll bet you he is probably the one out of the two at home crying when his relationship goes awry.