Revision #2: Why Buy the Cow When You Can Get the Milk for Free?

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the person mentioned

As much as I hate to admit, my parents really were always right when it comes to relationship advice. And your parents were probably always right too. It saddens me that it takes everyone decades of their lives before they finally admit it and do listen to what their parents tell them. One thing my parents always told me was to take things slow when it comes to relationships and dating. Luckily that was one of the advices I actually listened to ever since I started dating and having relationships. However, it is unfortunate for my friend Marilyn* that she never took that same advice her parents probably told her when she started being involved in relationships.

Marilyn is a simple girl who is easy to please and wants nothing more complicated than to just have a boyfriend of her very own. She has kissed many frogs that claim to be princes and who, one after the other, continuously disappoints her. After observing her last “relationship,” it is finally plain and clear for me to see exactly why she is so unsuccessful at sustaining a relationship and keeping boyfriends. She is simply “giving it up” way too easily. Marilyn is by no means sexually promiscuous and does not just sleep with any guy she meets. However, she does become infatuated and smitten with them so much and so fast to the point where she will sleep with them by the second date. What is even more surprising is that behavior such as this is not abnormal among women in this generation. According to the American Sex Survey from abcnews.com approximately 30% of women have sex on the first date. Therefore, obviously there is nothing physically wrong with Marilyn for these kinds of behavior, but little does she know, giving it up so easily (even if she has feelings for those boys) does have an unwanted consequence. She thinks that giving these guys what they want will help keep them around, but her sleeping with them so soon is actually chasing them all away.

This is the real world, women have sexual power but they do not get the same set of standards when it comes to sexual behaviors as men do. When men sleep around, they are obviously considered “studs.” When women sleep around, guess what they’re called? As silly as it seems, to exercise the power women do have sexually over the opposite sex is to “take things slow.” As much as men want and will have sex easily, they seem to only want relationships with women who show respect for themselves. Askmen.com agrees and has even done a survey that concludes that most men who are looking for serious relationships and not a one night stand do value women who have sexual restraint. And how much respect does a girl seem to show for herself when she will pull down her skirt after only a couple of dates?
So Keep in mind that while it is no longer considered taboo to have sex before marriage or exercise sexual freedom with your significant other, there are negative consequences that come with impatience. For those having trouble with restraining themselves, remind yourself as I always do; good things come to those who wait. Consequently, thank you to all of our parents for learning from their mistakes and is kind enough to pass their advice on to us even if we neglect to listen to them at first. And thank you to all the Marilyns out there who emphasize this lesson for the rest of us.


I revised this blog by adding a very fitting picture to the topic so the readers can get a mental image which can enhance their reading experience. I also added a couple more links so others can be directed to pages related to the things I have mentioned. The bolded sentences have been added to add a little more cohesiveness to the writing. Also, I have taken the advice from my peer review and toned down the harshness with some positivity in those new sentences.

Revision #1: The Power of All Relationships Lies Within Whoever Cares Less

First off, let me clarify that I am not some single, bitter, or vindictive heart-broken girl out looking for revenge. Neither am I a member of the online community fromFeminist.com searching for equality towards women's rights and suffrage. I am simply just a “not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman” who realized that being a hopeless romantic does not get you anywhere nor can it benefit you in anyway. With that in mind, that does not necessarily mean I do not believe in romantic relationships; I am all for romance and dating, but more on the rational and realistic perspective, rather than just the idealistic side of it.

Cliché quotes like “Love conquers all” and “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” used to be the inspirational phrases back in high school when we were all young, naïve, and smitten with puppy love. Looking back to that time I’m convinced that if I had met myself then, the myself-now would probably have gave the myself-then a good slap or two to knock some sense into her (myself?). Now we are all for the empowering sayings and quotes that indicate strong self-reliance and independence such as “The power of all relationships lies with whoever cares less” (Mark Waters, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past). I know this kind of opinion may raise eyebrows for some eternal hopeless romantics out there and may even be categorized as faithless negativity. Yet as difficult as it is to grasp, it simply is just the ugly truth.

Go ahead, read the quote again. “The power of all relationships lies with whoever cares less.” …I know it may be a little hard to digest, but if you think about it hard enough, you will find yourself agreeing with the quote and rationalizing with the idea behind it. As much as we all would love to believe that the world is a fairy tale, it is anything but magical. Even msnbc has done a study on infidelity statistics, stating that 44 percent of married men and 36 percent of married women are unfaithful. So it’s also probably nice to believe in the idea of “true love” and “the one,” but come on, haven’t you ever heard about the plenty of fishes in the sea?

Now, how do you know who gets the power and who cares less? And what does this have anything to do with relationships? My friend, this has EVERYTHING to do with relationships. I know, I know... relationships and dating are supposed to be about love, happiness, caring and sharing and all that gooey stuff, but then again, that’s why there are such people who are dubbed “hopeless romantics.” In the real world, where people lie, cheat, deceive, and play games, sometimes you just have to learn the rules to win in order to pursue your own happiness. The “power” is simply attained by caring less than the other person in the relationship. This is very similar to the “Nice Guys (finish last)” analogy. How many times have you seen a girl who picks the overconfident and self-assured jerk over the nice, caring, and sentimental boy? People like what they should not want and they want what they cannot have. Now transition this idea and apply it towards relationships and dating. The more you care for someone, the more vulnerable you will be and the easier it is for you to get hurt. The less you care for someone, the less vulnerable you will be and harder it is for you to get hurt. Therefore, whoever cares less obviously holds the power. In relationships the person who cares more represents the confident jerk while the person who cares less represents the nice guy. Who do youthink will have the upper hand?

On a more justified note, the nice guy probably doesn’t always lose, but I’ll bet you he is probably the one out of the two at home crying when his relationship goes awry. 
With all that has been said, I must remind you that relationships are not just games and winning, sometimes people really will do get lucky and have happy, successful relationships where no one has to worry about power. So don't give up and throw in the towel just yet, simply keep in mind to be careful and watch out for your best interest so not to get too quickly swept away and see everything through rose-tinted glasses under the influence of love.






I have added a picture to illustrate the idea of the blog as a revision. I have also taken the advice of my peers and teacher by adding some statistics and links to pages that correlate to what I'm mentioning in the blog. I have also concluded the blog with some optimism to be sympathetic to the more positive-thinking readers.

Fool Me Once, Shame on You; Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me

“Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” Where was this quote when I went through with the utmost distressing and horrifying relationship with my so-called high school sweetheart years ago? Now I cringe at the pathetic habitual patterns I put myself through before I was brave enough to finally pull my head out of my ass and realize that if a relationship does not work the first time, it probably will not work the second, third, fourth, or thirteenth time. I also absolutely refuse to believe that I am some kind of freak of nature who is the only person that ever went through a period of cloudy judgement. Admit it; you or someone you know, perhaps a friend, a family member, a roommate, or even the shy and humble girl next door went through the same mistake of trying to force a relationship to work only to end up feeling like you have only wasted your own valuable time. This irrational behavior and idiotic way of thinking is more common than one would imagine. But why do we do it or put ourselves through what now seems such an unpleasant and undesirable relationship? …I honestly do not know. But what I do know is that like all other mistakes, you are supposed to extract some type of lesson or useful knowledge on how to avoid making the same mistake again. Therefore, I’ve gathered a list of questions for everyone as a reminder to think rationally whenever they find themselves in the vulnerable position of falling into the unwanted make-up-then-break-up dating trap.

1.     What was the cause of the break up in the first place? Will both sides of the relationship be able to resolve things to get past this issue and be reassured that it will not rise up again in the future? If not, then it is highly recommended that you reconsider your plans for action because you’re only setting yourself up for a distasteful déjà vu.

2.     Are you happy with yourself? I was once given the advice that you will not be able to be happy with someone else if you can’t be happy by yourself. So if you’re single, before rushing to run back into the same old relationship again, take time to enjoy being single and doing the things you like since you no longer have anyone to answer to.

3.     Are you sure you want to be with this person in the “long run”? Obviously there is a reason for the breakup in the first place so if it isn’t meant to be then it probably won’t be. And why prolong the relationship if you are going to break up again anyway?

If you’re still  not convinced, let me remind you about a devastating little tale about an innocent and dutiful wife named Elin. She had a happy marriage with a highly respectable and widely-renowned athlete Tiger Woods, only to one day suddenly be humiliated and ridiculed by everyone that knew what the sport of golf was. According to abcnews, not one, but numerous women, including a porn star and a pancake house waitress keep adding themselves to the increasing list of women that have been involved with Elin’s husband. Even after the embarassment of the whole world knowing about the disaster in her marriage, Elin tried to make things work; she went to marriage counseling, she sent her husband to sex rehab. Then guess what happens? He cheats on her again in sex rehab. …So if Tiger Woods can’t salvage an old relationship, what would make the average people like us be able to do so?

Why Buy the Cow When You Can Get the Milk for Free?

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the person mentioned

As much as I hate to admit, my parents really were always right when it comes to relationship advice. And your parents were probably always right too. It saddens me that it takes everyone decades of their lives before they finally admit it and do listen to what their parents tell them. One thing my parents always told me was to take things slow when it comes to relationships and dating. Luckily that was one of the advices I actually listened to ever since I started dating and having relationships. However, it is unfortunate for my friend Marilyn* that she never took that same advice her parents probably told her when she started being involved in relationships.

Marilyn is a simple girl who is easy to please and wants nothing more complicated than to just have a boyfriend of her very own. She has kissed many frogs that claim to be princes and who, one after the other, continuously disappoints her. After observing her last “relationship,” it is finally plain and clear for me to see exactly why she is so unsuccessful at sustaining a relationship and keeping boyfriends. She is simply “giving it up” way too easily. Marilyn is by no means sexually promiscuous and does not just sleep with any guy she meets. However, she does become infatuated and smitten with them so much and so fast to the point where she will sleep with them by the second date. What is even more surprising is that behavior such as this is not abnormal among women in this generation. According to the American Sex Survey from abcnews.com approximately 30% of women have sex on the first date. Therefore, obviously there is nothing physically wrong with Marilyn for these kinds of behavior, but little does she know, giving it up so easily (even if she has feelings for those boys) does have an unwanted consequence. She thinks that giving these guys what they want will help keep them around, but her sleeping with them so soon is actually chasing them all away.

This is the real world, women have sexual power but they do not get the same standards when it comes to sexual behaviors as men. When men sleep around, they are obviously considered “studs.” When women sleep around, guess what they’re called? As silly as it seems, to exercise the power women do have sexually is to “take things slow.” As much as men want and will have sex easily, they seem to only want relationships with women who show respect for themselves. And how much respect does a girl seem to show for herself when she will pull down her skirt after only a couple of dates?

So thank you to all of our parents for learning from their mistakes and is kind enough to pass their advice on to us even if we neglect to listen to them at first. And thank you to all the Marilyns out there who emphasize this lesson for the rest of us.

The Power of all Relationships Lies with Whoever Cares Less

First off, let me clarify that I am not some single, bitter, or vindictive heart-broken girl out looking for revenge. Neither am I a member of the online community from Feminist.com searching for equality towards women's rights and suffrage. I am simply just a “not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman” who realized that being a hopeless romantic does not get you anywhere nor can it benefit you in anyway. With that in mind, that does not necessarily mean I do not believe in romantic relationships; I am all for romance and dating, but more on the rational and realistic perspective, rather than just the idealistic side of it.

Cliché quotes like “Love conquers all” and “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” used to be the inspirational phrases back in high school when we were all young, naïve, and smitten with puppy love. Looking back to that time I’m convinced that if I had met myself then, the myself-now would probably have gave the myself-then a good slap or two to knock some sense into her (myself?). Now we are all for the empowering sayings and quotes that indicate strong self-reliance and independence such as “The power of all relationships lies with whoever cares less” (Mark Waters, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past). I know this kind of opinion may raise eyebrows for some eternal hopeless romantics out there and may even be categorized as faithless negativity. Yet as difficult as it is to grasp, it simply is just the ugly truth.

Go ahead, read the quote again. “The power of all relationships lies with whoever cares less.” …I know it may be a little hard to digest, but if you think about it hard enough, you will find yourself agreeing with the quote and rationalizing with the idea behind it. As much as we all would love to believe that the world is a fairy tale, it is anything but magical. It’s also probably nice to believe in the idea of “true love” and “the one,” but come on, haven’t you ever heard about the plenty of fishes in the sea?

Now, how do you know who gets the power and who cares less? And what does this have anything to do with relationships? My friend, this has EVERYTHING to do with relationships. I know, I know... relationships and dating are supposed to be about love, happiness, caring and sharing and all that gooey stuff, but then again, that’s why there are such people who are dubbed “hopeless romantics.” In the real world, where people lie, cheat, deceive, and play games, sometimes you just have to learn the rules to win in order to pursue your own happiness. The “power” is simply attained by caring less than the other person in the relationship. This is very similar to the “Nice Guys (finish last)” analogy. How many times have you seen a girl who picks the overconfident and self-assured jerk over the nice, caring, and sentimental boy? People like what they should not want and they want what they cannot have. Now transition this idea and apply it towards relationships and dating. The more you care for someone, the more vulnerable you will be and the easier it is for you to get hurt. The less you care for someone, the less vulnerable you will be and harder it is for you to get hurt. Therefore, whoever cares less obviously holds the power. In relationships the person who cares more represents the confident jerk while the person who cares less represents the nice guy. Who do you think will have the upper hand?

On a more justified note, the nice guy probably doesn’t always lose, but I’ll bet you he is probably the one out of the two at home crying when his relationship goes awry.